Turkey Day! — Posie on the Lamb

“What is that?”

I looked over. Erin had a bowl of ingredients in one hand, a spatula in the other. She was staring down at a bubbling pot with surprised consternation.

“It’s a new car!” the movie on the computer yelled. We both ignored it.

“Uh, it’s chicken broth?” I said.

She gave me a look. “There was beer in there.”

“In the pot? Really? I thought it was clean.”

“Not quite. I used it to mix up the bread.”

“Well, then we’re gonna have some boozy chicken broth.” I frowned. “And you need a new place to put whatever that is… wait a second.” I started to disentangle myself. “Gotta wash my hands."

She made a face. “No. I’ll figure something out…” she looked around the blasted remains of our kitchen, “…I guess.”

From the corner, the computer added, “Well, I don’t know if this helps, but Ho, Ho, Ho.”

It was Saturday in Korea, and we were cooking Thanksgiving dinner while marathoning Mystery Science Theater 3000 (hereafter, MST3K).

Yes, we missed the official Turkey Holiday by about forty-eight hours, but in all fairness, we were really busy. Korea doesn’t exactly celebrate American Thanksgiving, so Thursday was pretty much just… Thursday.

And no, MST3K was not a NORMAL thing to watch on Thanksgiving. It was not really a normal thing to watch… ever. But it did have a proud history with Turkeys. And it was OUR thing.

So, nyah!

“There goes a big, brave brick of meat,” the computer interjected as I got up to check on the stuffing.

“Hey!” I snapped.

Erin giggled.

When I got back to the table, she was just finishing a pan of dough and setting it aside to rise. The recipe was mustard cheese beer bread. I stared in awe at her creation.

”Move, move, move, move!” the computer shrieked.

“Yeah. Have to agree with MST3K here. I’m gonna have to eat all that… now,” I said.

“Can I at least cook it first?” Erin said.

I frowned. “MST3K? What do you think?”

“Did you sign Sherri’s card?” the movie replied.

I grimaced. “Not helpful.”

Erin slid the pan out of the way. “No touching!” She glared. “Either of you!”

“I’m sitting in something wet,” the movie complained with deadly seriousness.

“Gross,” Erin said. “Sam? I think we need a new movie.”

“I think you’re right.” I dug through our collection. “Preferences?”

“Surprise me.”

I scrolled through our options-between our old DVDs and the multitude of options on youtube, we had access to nearly the whole collection of MST3K madness. I picked something at random and tapped play. The film started with silly music, then a voice said, “Dedicated to the chickens who lost their lives in the Great Chicken War!”

“Oh! Good choice!” Erin said. “Speaking of which…”

She popped the oven open and slid the bird out to check. Korea still didn’t have Turkeys, so we were celebrating with a chicken

”That looks amazing,” I said.

“Yup. Needs more time, though.” Erin slid it back in the oven..

“I’d like to be the chicken of tomorrow, but how can I be more the man of today?” the movie asked.

“By helping with the apples for our pie,” Erin replied.

I went back to the sink to do yet another round of dishes. In a small kitchen, everything had to be washed over and over and over, or we’d run out of clean pots and pans really, really fast.

In the background, Erin poured me a whiskey.

“How dry I am… hic…” the movie slurred appropriately.

We banged around for hours, putting the finishing touches on our meal. The bread came out of the oven and sat, resplendent, on a wire rack to cool. The pie looked like something out of a picture book. The chicken… the stuffing… the salad. It was cluttered and ad-hoc.

It was also perfect.

"We ready?” I asked.

“We are,” Erin replied.

And as if on cue, MST3K began singing, “Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.”