Fear the Egg Ninjas!
Just casually walking around Chungju one day, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye that made me do a double take...
...wait a minute...
...seriously? McDonald's Korea offers VIP parking? Is McDonald's really that big of a thing here?
That, uh, that would be a yes, then. Unless anyone knows of anywhere else in the world where McDonald's offers an engagement ring with the golden arches instead of a diamond.
Of course, with all this McDonald's addiction and love, people would eventually become SUCH whales that they would no longer be able to get off the couch. What can you do if you're too fat to waddle to the golden arches on your own? HAVE NO FEAR! Korea has a solution to every McDonald's cravings (no, it isn't a diet):
Okay, so McDonald's is crazy. Let's try a local Korean fast food place. Hey, there's a Chicken Maru! Or, as their advertising puts it, Mom's choice, Dad's present:
That's not THAT crazy, I suppose. I've seen American advertisements that were way more insane than that. Of course, then you turn your head slightly to the right and see this painted all over the outside of their stores:
Are those Egg Ninjas? With tiny, deadly Ninja... forks?
Well, forget food then. How about alcohol? I've heard about Korean Soju (a rice based drink similar to whiskey but with a taste like rubbing alcohol) and hof (essentially Korean beer). Let's find a nice bar and get some soju and beer until even the crazy stuff looks normal. Hey, how about that place! That looks good!
Or maybe this other place around the corner!
Okay, so Koreans can't spell. Heck, anybody with access to Google can find plenty of examples of badly spelled American advertisements. But that's not really crazy.
"Hey, why'd you put that confused, drunk hippo on the sign for your bar?"
"Wow, lemme tell you, that is one hell of a story. And beer was definitely involved."
Is that... a bar for children? Or a school that... serves it's teachers... alcohol... I think it's time to move on from bars now. How about veterinary clinics...
...for dog wizards? Okay, how about just normal, sit down restaurants...
...with mascots that invite you to dine on their flesh with fanatical glee! Holy crap! Hey.. that place over there looks like Hooters...
...but with more honest branding.
You know what? After all this, I'm thinking I may have overdone it. I should maybe check in with the doctor and make sure everything is okay...
...NEVER MIND. I THINK MAYBE I'LL JUST WALK IT OFF... FAR AWAY FROM HERE.
-Sam