Warning: Side Effects
Foreign travel, exotic foods, affordable health insurance; these are only some of the positive benefits EPIK has been proven to give users. But teaching English in Korea is not for everyone; read all warnings and contraindications carefully before deciding if EPIK is right for you. Side effects include, but are not limited to:
1) An overwhelming inclination to solve conflicts with Rock, Scissors, Paper.
2) Confusion and mild depression when kimchi is not available at mealtimes.
3) A compulsive need to bow.
4) The involuntary use of two hands in all social situations.
5) An endless loop of children's songs playing in one's head. (Primarily songs involving the ABCs, action verbs, or elephants.)
6) A deathly fear of motorized vehicles. Especially when crossing streets or sitting in passenger seats.
Corollary--in some cases, while on the sidewalk as well.
7) A desire to eat vegetables at inappropriate mealtimes, such as breakfast.
8) The inability to wear tanktops in public.
Corollary--the sight of tank tops on others (including, but not limited to, TV characters, tourists, and Scarlett Johansson) may induce feelings of shock and/or jealousy. In rare cases, spaghetti straps may exacerbate heart conditions.
9) Sensations of extreme heat or cold, especially in an indoor work environment.
Note: In the summer months, compulsive deodorant application has been noted in some test subjects.
10) An unexpected and disquieting proficiency with squat toilets.
-Erin